I have to sleep when it pulls me down,
lest anyone have to bear witness.
Rather die than make you frown,
vanishing’s my business.
Business is good, always has been.
I’m okay enough to exist,
thanks for askin’
(you didn’t).
I’m still growing accustomed to the song
I’ll always be a stranger, lifetimes long.
I give up daily,
being heard, met, loved.
I’ve stopped praying
Overcast dark above.
I’m told I matter, stop playing
I guess I just want a hug.
I never told you, last night..
I was with a friend, he’s alright.
I was alone though, shook in fright.
I have unseen friends, they claim
from mysterious light.
They know my name,
they can even say it right.
They want me to join them,
to die and live unseen
their eyes, my suffering, how keen.
If I really don’t matter, why do I stay?
If brains splattered, who would remain?
I don’t tell you many things on purpose,
I love you too much
to show my curses.
I’m glad to be kept a secret and away
No one dare love me in the light of day.