mike lenczycki
Back home (not anywhere)
Lost it all (más despair)
I’m fine 😅 (don’t care)
Losing this body, this hair
Thankful for the air.
Too soon for my heirs,
Only hearts I tear.
Silence isn’t yet speech
Rather be gone than a leech.
Let me go, I won’t preach,
I won’t pull you in
Please let me go, truth is
You never heard me right
I stayed up for all, all night
Tryna flip trauma into light
Sorry for everything,
My name is Mike.
Hello readers.
The time is soon approaching when I (we) must return to silence.
(Really I’ve been typing this on the laptop my saint of an ex let me borrow,
but she traded it for my PS4 so I felt it’s fair, I just don’t remember my account
information. If you like my work enough, hopefully you can spell my name right
enough to find me. If not that’s okay- it’s been splendid, y’all. Eternal light and love (always.))
sorry for all the words i’ve wasted
my favorite flave (flava flaaaaaaaaaave) untasted
didn’t mean to flirt you into baecation
wanted to wed but i lack His patience
we don’t wanna be mr-bin-her-coffin‘s disgrace
smoking love letters in egirl’s face(s)(i love ’em tho)
belly laughin no one can take it (and i feel mean)
i’ll say too much in not enough
not enough when i say too much
apologize, die, leave- nothin’ stuff
vibe like grown man buttercup
ahhh sorry i should probably delete all this.
i tend to re(gre(a)t) every word i ever say,
my bliss
please stop making my day
don’t miss
don’t even think post kiss
tucked in the rest of your life
physicality ain’t worth my strife
(no seriously i’m demisexual and intimacy is a huge issue for me so if i’ve come at you wrong it’s because ppl came at me wrong and i’m just waiting for the right person to say the right thing to save me from suffering other ppl’s delusions. but like, everyone comes at me like they’re entitled to give me advice i didn’t ask for. who does that?? just live your life dude don’t worry about my suicidality, i’m clearly a pro)
don’t hit me up unless you wanna know
post death where nirvana go
i love you i’d never
(call you) that word, yo.
so long, partner.
just wait
better now post coffee pre jog
your rejection ain’t worth a reblog
store knife thru ur clean fog
might be your momndad, dog
don’t have a type but i know a pawg
i’ll probably apologize for this later,
i tend to over apologize
until someone tells me i don’t need to.
usually i don’t listen and keep apologizing
i know i don’t need to worry about it
are you okay, will you sing?
fuck yeah, i’ve played with pencils for fun
these pencils made all (dead) my friends run
played w pencils thru(and)/for not anyone
lost everything enough to always won.
i long to see you,
someday.
i long to belong to you,
sun ray!
you never saw me cry
don’t (have to) stay
(but i want you to stay)..
those words i’ve died
to hear you say
please don’t ask me why
it’s been such a long day.
every person i invest in
i want my deposit back
don’t peek this depression
i got you, you’re good black
sorry i said that.
maybe next time.
be safe
hmu when u wanna transcend
you’ve always been free to go,
if you ask right,
you’re free to know.
say i don’t act right,
you could never be me, though.
but same ain’t true,
with you
i’ve been you thru and thru
i don’t need to hear your name
to be inside of you
don’t get it twisted,
blessed mirror cursed blade handle
you’re laughably dismissive
won’t settle to be your man, though.
the next one shares coffin or coughin’
fist bump from
mr bin her off then
they’ll forever wish
i’d been there often
i forgive your rejection first before i act
cynic expectations, don’t sign my pact
everything i tell you is just the facts.
but, i didn’t ask for your opinion,
if you tell me, you sure ain’t winnin’.
if i care enough i’ll ask
seems to be good to be true,
sucks for your howdy doo.
i might be your rowdy boo
dead silence or loud for you.
i always speak too much, awful
i’d love any peep out of you.
i know this seems random, but would you like to be best friends?
story’s eternity long, lovestruck sirensong
my sincerest apologies
i never meant to scare you
i can’t tell you i love you
(even if do)
you don’t want to push the depths of that (true)
i’m too wild, how’re you?
my bad, bitch gotta attitude
i’m apologies as gratitude
it’s so much better, i promise
if you made it here you’re so close
i will visit you often (don’t bin her off then)
i’ll fuckin’ wipe your nose
i know you’ll move on
i’m your rose
truly, stranger
not anybody
knows
(overseas transmission)
from suffering to suffering,
darkness in darkness
this is our offering
we rise up from the underworld
phoenix wings, thunder furls
greek gods, wonder curls.
don’t want this asunder, girl
here to merge true earth and
the other world(s),
all i’ve ever met are swine
for our pearlz.
in existence club w mister
‘had to bin her off then’
come at your girl, half sister
her dreams, been there often
i’m no threat, she’s no list’ner
what’s up with your mom, friend?
no fear, burning love gives blisters
absorbed Red’s heat, flame twister
died endlessly, dismissed her
blocked, infinite persistir
type- demons and elixirs
don’t cut your teeth on
these tongue twister
transistors (too easy)
growth! pre promo now
both? post-ancient old soul flow
how? died then, life now
you must have felt it in the air
electricity flowing, brought you hair
only Gods proceed, if they dare
(for when you see)
fruits from seeds planted
makin’ up, too many bad habits
c4 in your heart,
planted
i don’t care anymore
to waste my my life with you
for any less
than the BEST
don’t even respond or reply
when you spell my name
pls dot the I(AM)
i’m a mirror who wonders why?
i only want #1 with whom i can fly
i could show you the world
i could give you it all
twelve eternities later, pls don’t fall
i never wanted to watch you crawl
don’t ever assume my balls
a mirror for your potential
if you could ever leave home
if you’ve ever been dead, alone
THIS IS ONLY FOR THE HOPELESS.
for those who cannot settle
those, you don’t wanna mettle
those whose teeth bend metal
play flirt with flower pedals
you don’t want this pedal as metal
ever slept with a hurricane?
you never learned to say it
but you’ll learn this name.
only fools think i seek fame
praise brush this lion mane.
THIS IS FOR THE CASTAWAYS
FOR YOU, WHO LONG
FOR YOU, TOO WEAK TO BE STRONG
FOR YOU, BROKEN AND ALONE
FOR YOU, NO TRUE HOME
FOR YOU, NEVER THRONED
FOR YOU, THE LEFT BEHIND
FOR YOU, CAN’T REWIND
i’m only here to tend the forest
for those who come next
for the greatest wave humanity,
this fucking world
this fucking EXISTENCE
has ever seen.
i come on behalf
the grand culmination of every religion,
every spell, every
prayer.
every death cry on the wind
the torment of every molested kid (i was)
maybe you can’t see this light because you settled for darkness.
i’ll let you borrow my transitions lenses for the (tony)starkness.
THE MEEK SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH
you’re here, let’s see what you’re worth
my fetish is your rejection.
my fetish no need attention.
my fetish overnight obsession.
my fetish hope you learn
your lesson.
my fetish wants your pain to lessen.
my fetish truly blessin’.
my fetish doesn’t have time
my fetish long for wine
my fetish, you’re wasting mine
my fetish you’re sublime
my fetish smells of lime
my fetish need not rhyme.
but you?
ha.
your fetish pain and despair.
your fetish grasping for air.
your fetish unkempt hair.
your fetish never get there.
your fetish unworth plein air.
your fetish is you’re too plain,
there.
your fetish say no to my face
my fetish forgive your disgrace
your fetish shallow as fuck
my fetish source of luck
your fetish die alone
my fetish Eternal home
your fetish never listen
my fetish endless glisten
your fetish never learn
my fetish you’ll never earn
your fetish mediocre
my fetish ain’t sleepin’ over
your fetish laugh at my back
my fetish done with lack
your fetish weak like child
my fetish God playing mild
your fetish never grows
my fetish always Knows
your fetish basic like barbie
my fetish 7 nation army
your fetish dying alone
my fetish cleans your home
your fetish hurt your fam
my fetish ain’t your fan
my fetish would heal your hurt.
your fetish ain’t worth the work.
nothing is hidden
my heart off limits
forbidden
your mistrust is a given.
forgive me if i’m smitten,
eternity so lonesome
i want to go home, hun.
existence my prison
the bars aren’t real
just here to help you heal
i just want to know
how you feel
i haven’t heard
that song yet.
invisible sunrise, overcast skin
lack of love synonym sin
your flame is not my twin
all my losses are my wins
glad you left your shoes
on when i let you in
i would’ve linked your playlist here
i thought you were my A-list dear
i just wanted to comfort your fears
i’m only as honest as you are clear.
have you still not seen a black mirror?
i told you how our time is
your time’s abiding
my time christmas
I have to sleep when it pulls me down,
lest anyone have to bear witness.
Rather die than make you frown,
vanishing’s my business.
Business is good, always has been.
I’m okay enough to exist,
thanks for askin’
(you didn’t).
I’m still growing accustomed to the song
I’ll always be a stranger, lifetimes long.
I give up daily,
being heard, met, loved.
I’ve stopped praying
Overcast dark above.
I’m told I matter, stop playing
I guess I just want a hug.
I never told you, last night..
I was with a friend, he’s alright.
I was alone though, shook in fright.
I have unseen friends, they claim
from mysterious light.
They know my name,
they can even say it right.
They want me to join them,
to die and live unseen
their eyes, my suffering, how keen.
If I really don’t matter, why do I stay?
If brains splattered, who would remain?
I don’t tell you many things on purpose,
I love you too much
to show my curses.
I’m glad to be kept a secret and away
No one dare love me in the light of day.
I write this for someone who wouldn’t read it.
I guess that’s all I’ve been doing.
There is a primordial need for expression,
solar flares ebb and flow in Eternity.
I keep to myself, I tend to fall upon stone ears.
Hope, at this point, is a corpse.
All I see is Sunset, now.
Every person I interact with, every notification I get;
I know it doesn’t matter to them.
I can go with the motions like an empty raft.
Explaining myself seems aptly daft, daftly apt.
Every person I interact with, every notification I get;
Glasses houses wearing blouses.
The entire history and inheritance is there, so
there’s better for everyone out there, than me.
Broken statue at the fork in the road,
every evening’s death a line for Ode.
No one stays.
Not even when they
stick around.
I can’t be upset, I should be used to it.
I am, yet
I can’t tell anyone.
How much it’s always hurt,
like
a Sun in my heart.
I hope this burning light helps someone,
anyone.
silence, first.
there has always been the uncertainty,
that for me, often ends
as you can imagine it would.
i’m getting better,
i expect it.
i sleep more, longer, later.
no one misses my presence anyway.
i don’t mind, so much.
timelessness is more often
a blessing, but
its curse is more than anyone
i know
can bear.
so i suppose i’ll skip to the end,
save everyone some time.
and bow out.
I wish sometimes,
the good times lasted longer
(who doesn’t?)
than the ineffable
loneliness.
I can put myself out there,
be rejected for all Eternity
(my inheritance)
or be accepted at first
to see where it ends.
I can’t imagine how many
come here from my fucking
dating profile.
Like, why waste
our time?
I could pour everything I am
(I do)
into this,
as I do for
literally anyone.
And for what?
No one reaches out.
Why would they?
Loner to end all loners-
Truly,
my inheritance.
When you knocked on World’s Door
I laughed
The rich, poor, everyone’s a whore
Your attack
Of course it hurts,
growth (tends to).
Of course you, I
everyone we’ve ever loved
are bound to die!
WHAT THE FUCK ELSE
GIVES YOU INCENTIVE TO TRY?
you’ve always been my friend,
closest and dearest to my heart
your quiet love
breaks us apart!
Love like
Heaven and Earth
I’ve lost track of those who
can’t see our worth!
It’s okay,
okay
okay.
I guess I don’t know
what to say!
I tend to leave it at,
“Have a great day!”
It’s impossible,
improbable,
to describe how and why
we met.
You and I laugh
across time and space
we knew this was
meant to fuckin’
B E
we know i’m wild,
i love you eternally
and eternally through
and through.
you balance me out-
always grateful
for you.
I’m saving up,
(trying to lmao)
to visit you and
w i n d w a l k e r
I’ll fly on clouds
to visit Stroud!
I’m looking for the
True +1,
but you know
just as well as I-
that in the end
it may always
(probably?)
have been
n o t
a n y o n e
I guess you
are all I have,
and I can’t possess you,
of course
of course.
I don’t know who you are,
I don’t know who I am,
either.
Not someone,
not no one,
not everyone,
not neither.
People tell me all the time,
hurricane of mirror blades
after all.
So naturally, people
see themselves here.
I’m getting stronger,
thanks to you.
I keep to myself more,
the calm within the storm.
I still cry
(like so fuckin’ much),
but the desire to TRY
naturally becomes
more refined.
You bought me the book,
after all!
A Course in Miracles.
So, thank you.
Every heartbreak is
nothing less
than a blessing.
Inheritance, after all.
five or six hours’ sleep
no use wasting time
i can’t keep.
nothing’s mine,
everything’s fine!
Everybody Loves The Sunshine 🙂
deepest
sorries if I impose
hard to share the glint gold
broken bloody feet
untended but precious
this golden road.
I love you all
for everything you
are, have been
ever will be.
I can no longer
ask for anything in return.
One way like sunshine.
All the things I want you to know but said better.
Making Right
Alone at Night
Blazing Light
Demons’ Deathbed
Regretting I Pressed Send
If Ever
If Never
Dying in Hotel
Oh, Well.
DROPPED FROM THE DROP
Alone Mountain, Top
Meeting Ryan
During Cryin’
Losing Friends
Burning Ends
Feeling Obligated
Burned and Hated
You Ask Why
You Deny
You
Me
Us?
Not You
Not Me
Not Us
MIKE SOLO
MIKE YOLO
MIKE NO NO
BOOK OF DEMON SKULLS
Inbox never full 😦
Impending
Upending
Chillin
I DON’T LOVE YOU ANYMORE.
WOKE/ BROKE
Stupid To/For You
Lowkey Lonely
Mas O Menos Celibate
It Is What It Is
Connection!
DESTINY/INVITATION
Alone, Omen 3
(Your) Locket
probably better left alone
dead object for your home
(art after death)
i’ve all dried up but i feel like i’m always drowning.
every day, i plot my own death;
first the garage, then a bullet to the head.
better not to speak up
hate to see their dread
probably not at home
probably better left alone.
disperse my art like so many ashes
worth more than me anyway, worth more than this name, face, body
sometimes i just want to cry,
but i’m all dried up.
oh
who cares
Here, the journey’s end
Or has it even started?
Sure, now there’s a bed
Large and empty like these valleys
More than not wish I was dead
Hung from the galley
Will likely never find love, never be happy
My mistakes are too many, too damning
Only a few ask, I barely manage
Consequence of life with no planning-
Live in God’s moment, painfully so
Drove a thousand miles just to
Find One who knows
But no one does, or it seems
Just the Way She goes, I won’t be mean
My entire life a loser, I can glean.
Day after day, new audiobook
Stories of how I can succeed
Make everyone proud, plant gold seeds.
Instead here I am, crying alone
No signal, no one to talk on the phone
Even now I’m reminded
“I’ve always loved you,
And I just want to come home”
I just want to come home
These words I can’t share
Too much shade from those who once cared
I’m so sorry for what I’ve done,
I made mistakes, wonder if she (you) were the one
I once thought this split would be fun
5 months now, coming undone
Should I be mature and end it now?
So many apologies made, but I don’t do enough
Always still I say too much.
Daisies bloom here, she keeps me safe
Watching Jojo’s until she’s tired, it’s late.
Will I die alone?
Seems likely, Fate.
Empedocles said the cosmos is just Love and Strife (Hate?)
Like Dr. Dog said, “how long must I wait?”
An Eternity, crying at Underworld’s gates.
Heard an Ancient say
Not too long, the other day
All that can be seen, all that can be known
Merely Spirit of the Times
The Depths not shown.
And yet, alluded by nostalgia
Aphrodite’s charm,
Went to see a former lover
(Of half a decade)
What’s the harm?
We spoke of much, enjoyed each other’s peace
And yet still, depths of this heart unreached.
There is always a fan near me
Branded “comfort zone”- irony?
She was named after a mountain
A symbol of the divine
We had each attained the stage of fountain(head)
But she was no longer mine.
How bittersweet, my heart bled,
Someone will treat her better, occupy her bed.
The pain was immense, yet I was the one in the wrong
Always seduced by another song.
I feel cursed, not longing to be this way
Wanting to stay firm, not to sway.
Maybe God’s charm, God’s request
Not wanting me to stay.
And now, 8 days prior, in the 8th month
Will I die of cold or cough?
Will I ever find (or be) the One?
Am I even worth Love?
I forsake career ambition for God, for love
Can’t blame all my problems on Above.
I wonder too, how those winters will be
Will I lust for Aphrodite,
Or again meet that unnamed goddess
What will she say to me?
Will I ever be enough?
Will I ever be made Right?
Lifetimes’ apology for lust,
I suffered for months after that night.
If you’re reading this, I hope you’re well
Remember to trust and keep moving through
If your conditions resemble Hell.
Yesterday for tradition
Saw fossils of my family, outside of
Former lover’s jurisdiction.
They laughed as they called me a fool,
And like the fool who makes the journey to God,
I bore it. I did not speak up save for matters of race.
How could I describe the tasteless taste?
Not the type to shove awakening in your face.
Heard an Ancient say “if it’s not laughed at, it’s not the Dao”
The whole world laughs, even myself
Laughs at me now.
But impossible to deny
The soul, wings of butterfly.
So beyond all of this, all I do is cry,
Weeping for the bittersweet light
Shining on the dark of this.
Just want to be made right,
Worthy of that goddess’ kiss.
They told me the air is thinner
Told I won’t enjoy winter
Keep going all the way through
Don’t want to die a sinner.
Just want to be worthy of You.
But in the event I do
Just give all I have back
Sorry I’ve been so rude
I was just reinforcing lack
I promise you
If you start this trip
Don’t ever fucking stop
God will steal, tear, rip
No way will you ever come out on top!
In the darkest nights, there
How stupid I was
Confusing God for ephemeral Hell
I pray for all those I meet
I can’t tell you who and how I really am
I am every meal you eat
I am every face you greet
I am the aether from the stars below the street
I am that which asks not to eat meat
It is not me, it is not this man
This failure who knows not how to plan
Who has been broken, cast out, disheveled
This (can you even call it a) man, not on your level
The breath upon the waters
Stolen from your lungs
Sometimes all this corpse needs
Just a fucking hug
Teacher told this soul not a joke
How many times I wish I’d choke
Just to die and have it be over
Just to be birthed again
I barely relate to other men
Maybe someday I’ll find true love, and then
How many quotes
Dead awakened folks
Longed to share this gift,
Blessed mystery?
Wherever I go,
Always within/next to me
She never wanted me, just wanted men
Midwest dream soon end
Only my ex lover has the divine seed
Continue the work, old darling
Sorry I was drunk on my greed.
Heart of my heart longs
For a love deserving of these songs
These stories and tears
Of much long and deep we suffer
To console your fears.
This body holds a cough
This body care not for getting off
This body may die soon
Mountain peak, high noon
I don’t care
Whatever it is you wanna do
Kill me off now, it’s okay
I’d practiced counting breaths for thousands of days
I’ll return to existence, here to play
It’s only for others I feel the need to pray
My death’s not always my concern
Fuck it, make a bong from my urn
Once you’ve tasted the fire of the divine
Only need I know is
“Just burn”
I left a great love a few months now
I’d had a few awakenings, don’t ask how
Then I went manic, lost it all, oh wow.
Recently decided to talk again
Two forlorn stars shining upon each other’s way
I’ve transgressed far too much
I can’t ask her to stay,
Nor do I know if I would had it been her.
Meanwhile the catalyst threw me in the bin as she should
As she should
Now I’m moving over a thousand miles away
(Funny, where her ex lived)
To be of the mountains, every day is Magia day
How cruel it is to miss the one I hurt the most
She wants things as they were
I just want true love
I’m crushed it wasn’t her.
My breaths are labored
Punctuated by a cough.
I’d started tending to the neighbors
Everyone in Indiana just scoffs
Meditation is the practice of death
Funny thing I’d count my breath.
I was dishonest to the one I loved
In the name of greater from above.
Now, bereft of both,
My foolishness comes full circle.
Teacher said this work leaves you hated and alone
How many lifetimes must I atone?
Teacher said meaning can come from having kids
How funny now, feels like having adult SIDS.
Teacher said to take it serious
I was a touch too social once, how delirious.
Although afraid, I only fear not completing the work,
Truly being with the Beloved.
If anyone deserves to die, it’s me.
I’m a dang ol’ dummy.
I know so,e travelers who
Want me to move thousands of miles away from you
I’m so afraid, you don’t even know
I feel apathetic, rotting in the womb
All I’ve never known has been scarce
(My lungs only barely seeing air)
I’m afraid to rot like those minds
Have you met me? Have the years been kind?
I hope Colorado treats my art better
I just want love regardless of weather
I want the Divine above all else
Thought I was awake, now I’m in Hell
Weird socializing when God is everyone, well
I’ve got too many stories I’d love to tell
I cry all the time, more or less swell.
I have no one to turn to, only half reflections
Ugh, I’m such a simple whore for half affection
I’m just wanting one with whom to sing The Strokes
Before long, in Underworld with all those dead folks
Different definitions of of now and then, woke.
I remember when you played this song
I remember waiting aeons long
Your face changes now and then
I still don’t know who you are
I still wonder how far..
I’ll be moving cross country soon
If i saw you, would we swoon?
Do I have to await another
Full moon?
When your appearance was in the hotel
I loved you so dearly, so deep
It was Hell
It’s still Hell.
Everyone who loves me, I hurt
My attempts to make it right make it worse
To be cast into existence at all
Just a fucking curse
I can feel you sometimes,
Beloved
Like I’m sharing my life with you
Though we’ve not met
I would die for you,
If we’re willing to bet.
It’s when Eternity calls
I often weep, often pause
Why do I feel this way
Just because?
People are worried I’m mad
To love the Divine, sometimes
Sometimes
Oh Beloved my heart aches so
I would make sacrifices mortals don’t even know
Can’t even fathom, take a swing
I’ve already broken glass feet
(Joshu said ‘after a peasant but before, a king’)
You know, I thought we walked in the park
She was not you,
Just a light who left me in the dark.
“Forgive them Father, they know not what they do”
The Gods love to punish the wrongdoers
I’ve seen it happen to You.
Fruit of the World Soul