despair (inheritance!)

Back home (not anywhere)

Lost it all (más despair)

I’m fine 😅 (don’t care)

Losing this body, this hair

Thankful for the air.

Too soon for my heirs,

Only hearts I tear.

Silence isn’t yet speech

Rather be gone than a leech.

Let me go, I won’t preach,

I won’t pull you in

Please let me go, truth is

You never heard me right

I stayed up for all, all night

Tryna flip trauma into light

Sorry for everything,

My name is Mike.


until next eclipse

Hello readers.
The time is soon approaching when I (we) must return to silence.
(Really I’ve been typing this on the laptop my saint of an ex let me borrow,
but she traded it for my PS4 so I felt it’s fair, I just don’t remember my account
information. If you like my work enough, hopefully you can spell my name right
enough to find me. If not that’s okay- it’s been splendid, y’all. Eternal light and love (always.))

sorry for all the words i’ve wasted
my favorite flave (flava flaaaaaaaaaave) untasted
didn’t mean to flirt you into baecation
wanted to wed but i lack His patience
we don’t wanna be mr-bin-her-coffin‘s disgrace
smoking love letters in egirl’s face(s)(i love ’em tho)
belly laughin no one can take it (and i feel mean)

i’ll say too much in not enough
not enough when i say too much
apologize, die, leave- nothin’ stuff
vibe like grown man buttercup

ahhh sorry i should probably delete all this.
i tend to re(gre(a)t) every word i ever say,
my bliss
please stop making my day
don’t miss
don’t even think post kiss
tucked in the rest of your life
physicality ain’t worth my strife

(no seriously i’m demisexual and intimacy is a huge issue for me so if i’ve come at you wrong it’s because ppl came at me wrong and i’m just waiting for the right person to say the right thing to save me from suffering other ppl’s delusions. but like, everyone comes at me like they’re entitled to give me advice i didn’t ask for. who does that?? just live your life dude don’t worry about my suicidality, i’m clearly a pro)
don’t hit me up unless you wanna know
post death where nirvana go
i love you i’d never
(call you) that word, yo.

so long, partner.



just wait

better now post coffee pre jog
your rejection ain’t worth a reblog
store knife thru ur clean fog
might be your momndad, dog
don’t have a type but i know a pawg

i’ll probably apologize for this later,
i tend to over apologize
until someone tells me i don’t need to.
usually i don’t listen and keep apologizing
i know i don’t need to worry about it
are you okay, will you sing?

fuck yeah, i’ve played with pencils for fun
these pencils made all (dead) my friends run
played w pencils thru(and)/for not anyone
lost everything enough to always won.



i long to see you,
i long to belong to you,
sun ray!
you never saw me cry
don’t (have to) stay
(but i want you to stay)..
those words i’ve died
to hear you say
please don’t ask me why
it’s been such a long day.

every person i invest in
i want my deposit back
don’t peek this depression
i got you, you’re good black

sorry i said that.

maybe next time.



you’ve always been free to go,
if you ask right,
you’re free to know.
say i don’t act right,
you could never be me, though.
but same ain’t true,
with you
i’ve been you thru and thru
i don’t need to hear your name
to be inside of you

don’t get it twisted,
blessed mirror cursed blade handle
you’re laughably dismissive
won’t settle to be your man, though.

the next one shares coffin or coughin’
fist bump from
mr bin her off then
they’ll forever wish
i’d been there often

i forgive your rejection first before i act
cynic expectations, don’t sign my pact
everything i tell you is just the facts.
but, i didn’t ask for your opinion,
if you tell me, you sure ain’t winnin’.

if i care enough i’ll ask
seems to be good to be true,
sucks for your howdy doo.
i might be your rowdy boo
dead silence or loud for you.
i always speak too much, awful
i’d love any peep out of you.



i know this seems random, but would you like to be best friends?
story’s eternity long, lovestruck sirensong
my sincerest apologies
i never meant to scare you
i can’t tell you i love you
(even if do)

you don’t want to push the depths of that (true)
i’m too wild, how’re you?
my bad, bitch gotta attitude
i’m apologies as gratitude

it’s so much better, i promise
if you made it here you’re so close
i will visit you often (don’t bin her off then)
i’ll fuckin’ wipe your nose
i know you’ll move on
i’m your rose
truly, stranger
not anybody


New Revolution

(overseas transmission)

from suffering to suffering,
darkness in darkness
this is our offering

we rise up from the underworld
phoenix wings, thunder furls
greek gods, wonder curls.
don’t want this asunder, girl
here to merge true earth and
the other world(s),
all i’ve ever met are swine
for our pearlz.

in existence club w mister
‘had to bin her off then’
come at your girl, half sister
her dreams, been there often
i’m no threat, she’s no list’ner
what’s up with your mom, friend?

no fear, burning love gives blisters
absorbed Red’s heat, flame twister
died endlessly, dismissed her
blocked, infinite persistir
type- demons and elixirs
don’t cut your teeth on
these tongue twister
transistors (too easy)

growth! pre promo now
both? post-ancient old soul flow
how? died then, life now

you must have felt it in the air
electricity flowing, brought you hair
only Gods proceed, if they dare


trapdoor HURRICANE

(for when you see)

fruits from seeds planted
makin’ up, too many bad habits
c4 in your heart,

i don’t care anymore
to waste my my life with you
for any less
than the BEST
don’t even respond or reply
when you spell my name
pls dot the I(AM)
i’m a mirror who wonders why?
i only want #1 with whom i can fly

i could show you the world
i could give you it all
twelve eternities later, pls don’t fall
i never wanted to watch you crawl
don’t ever assume my balls
a mirror for your potential
if you could ever leave home
if you’ve ever been dead, alone


for those who cannot settle
those, you don’t wanna mettle
those whose teeth bend metal
play flirt with flower pedals

you don’t want this pedal as metal
ever slept with a hurricane?
you never learned to say it
but you’ll learn this name.
only fools think i seek fame
praise brush this lion mane.


i’m only here to tend the forest
for those who come next
for the greatest wave humanity,
this fucking world
this fucking EXISTENCE
has ever seen.

i come on behalf
the grand culmination of every religion,
every spell, every
every death cry on the wind
the torment of every molested kid (i was)

maybe you can’t see this light because you settled for darkness.

i’ll let you borrow my transitions lenses for the (tony)starkness.

you’re here, let’s see what you’re worth


my fetish (wow ppl only like me when i’m nice, understandably)

my fetish is your rejection.
my fetish no need attention.
my fetish overnight obsession.
my fetish hope you learn
your lesson.
my fetish wants your pain to lessen.
my fetish truly blessin’.

my fetish doesn’t have time
my fetish long for wine
my fetish, you’re wasting mine
my fetish you’re sublime
my fetish smells of lime
my fetish need not rhyme.

but you?

your fetish pain and despair.
your fetish grasping for air.
your fetish unkempt hair.
your fetish never get there.
your fetish unworth plein air.
your fetish is you’re too plain,

your fetish say no to my face
my fetish forgive your disgrace
your fetish shallow as fuck
my fetish source of luck
your fetish die alone
my fetish Eternal home
your fetish never listen
my fetish endless glisten
your fetish never learn
my fetish you’ll never earn
your fetish mediocre
my fetish ain’t sleepin’ over
your fetish laugh at my back
my fetish done with lack
your fetish weak like child
my fetish God playing mild
your fetish never grows
my fetish always Knows
your fetish basic like barbie
my fetish 7 nation army
your fetish dying alone
my fetish cleans your home
your fetish hurt your fam
my fetish ain’t your fan

my fetish would heal your hurt.
your fetish ain’t worth the work.



invisible sunrise, overcast skin
lack of love synonym sin
your flame is not my twin
all my losses are my wins
glad you left your shoes
on when i let you in

i would’ve linked your playlist here
i thought you were my A-list dear
i just wanted to comfort your fears
i’m only as honest as you are clear.
have you still not seen a black mirror?

i told you how our time is
your time’s abiding
my time christmas


Tragedy’s Heirs

I have to sleep when it pulls me down,
lest anyone have to bear witness.
Rather die than make you frown,
vanishing’s my business.
Business is good, always has been.
I’m okay enough to exist,
thanks for askin’
(you didn’t).

I’m still growing accustomed to the song
I’ll always be a stranger, lifetimes long.
I give up daily,
being heard, met, loved.
I’ve stopped praying
Overcast dark above.
I’m told I matter, stop playing

I guess I just want a hug.

I never told you, last night..
I was with a friend, he’s alright.
I was alone though, shook in fright.

I have unseen friends, they claim
from mysterious light.
They know my name,
they can even say it right.

They want me to join them,
to die and live unseen
their eyes, my suffering, how keen.

If I really don’t matter, why do I stay?
If brains splattered, who would remain?

I don’t tell you many things on purpose,
I love you too much
to show my curses.

I’m glad to be kept a secret and away
No one dare love me in the light of day.


Dusk Again

I write this for someone who wouldn’t read it.
I guess that’s all I’ve been doing.
There is a primordial need for expression,
solar flares ebb and flow in Eternity.
I keep to myself, I tend to fall upon stone ears.

Hope, at this point, is a corpse.
All I see is Sunset, now.

Every person I interact with, every notification I get;
I know it doesn’t matter to them.
I can go with the motions like an empty raft.
Explaining myself seems aptly daft, daftly apt.

Every person I interact with, every notification I get;
Glasses houses wearing blouses.
The entire history and inheritance is there, so
there’s better for everyone out there, than me.

Broken statue at the fork in the road,
every evening’s death a line for Ode.
No one stays.
Not even when they
stick around.

I can’t be upset, I should be used to it.
I am, yet
I can’t tell anyone.
How much it’s always hurt,
a Sun in my heart.

I hope this burning light helps someone,


Eternal Quarantine

silence, first.

there has always been the uncertainty,
that for me, often ends
as you can imagine it would.

i’m getting better,
i expect it.
i sleep more, longer, later.
no one misses my presence anyway.

i don’t mind, so much.
timelessness is more often
a blessing, but

its curse is more than anyone
i know
can bear.

so i suppose i’ll skip to the end,
save everyone some time.
and bow out.



I wish sometimes,
the good times lasted longer
(who doesn’t?)
than the ineffable

I can put myself out there,
be rejected for all Eternity
(my inheritance)
or be accepted at first
to see where it ends.

I can’t imagine how many
come here from my fucking
dating profile.
Like, why waste
our time?
I could pour everything I am
(I do)
into this,
as I do for
literally anyone.

And for what?

No one reaches out.
Why would they?
Loner to end all loners-
my inheritance.


Love of Death (Strictly Professional)

When you knocked on World’s Door
I laughed
The rich, poor, everyone’s a whore
Your attack
Of course it hurts,
growth (tends to).

Of course you, I
everyone we’ve ever loved
are bound to die!


you’ve always been my friend,
closest and dearest to my heart
your quiet love
breaks us apart!
Love like
Heaven and Earth

I’ve lost track of those who
can’t see our worth!

It’s okay,

I guess I don’t know
what to say!

I tend to leave it at,

“Have a great day!”


Ode To BFF!

It’s impossible,
to describe how and why
we met.

You and I laugh
across time and space
we knew this was
meant to fuckin’

we know i’m wild,
i love you eternally
and eternally through
and through.
you balance me out-
always grateful
for you.

I’m saving up,
(trying to lmao)
to visit you and
w i n d w a l k e r

I’ll fly on clouds
to visit Stroud!

I’m looking for the
True +1,
but you know
just as well as I-
that in the end
it may always
have been
n o t
a n y o n e


For the Sunset

I guess you
are all I have,
and I can’t possess you,
of course
of course.

I don’t know who you are,
I don’t know who I am,
Not someone,
not no one,
not everyone,
not neither.

People tell me all the time,
hurricane of mirror blades
after all.
So naturally, people
see themselves here.

I’m getting stronger,
thanks to you.
I keep to myself more,
the calm within the storm.
I still cry
(like so fuckin’ much),
but the desire to TRY
naturally becomes
more refined.

You bought me the book,
after all!

A Course in Miracles.

So, thank you.
Every heartbreak is
nothing less
than a blessing.

Inheritance, after all.


Songs In Your Sleep

All the things I want you to know but said better.

Making Right

Alone at Night

Blazing Light

Demons’ Deathbed

Regretting I Pressed Send

If Ever

If Never

Dying in Hotel

Oh, Well.


Alone Mountain, Top

Meeting Ryan

During Cryin’

Losing Friends

Burning Ends

Feeling Obligated

Burned and Hated

You Ask Why

You Deny




Not You

Not Me

Not Us





Inbox never full 😦






Stupid To/For You

Lowkey Lonely

Mas O Menos Celibate

It Is What It Is



Alone, Omen 3

(Your) Locket


probably better left alone
dead object for your home
(art after death)

i’ve all dried up but i feel like i’m always drowning.
every day, i plot my own death;
first the garage, then a bullet to the head.
better not to speak up
hate to see their dread
probably not at home
probably better left alone.
disperse my art like so many ashes
worth more than me anyway, worth more than this name, face, body

sometimes i just want to cry,
but i’m all dried up.

who cares

Closed In

Here, the journey’s end

Or has it even started?

Sure, now there’s a bed

Large and empty like these valleys

More than not wish I was dead

Hung from the galley

Will likely never find love, never be happy

My mistakes are too many, too damning

Only a few ask, I barely manage

Consequence of life with no planning-

Live in God’s moment, painfully so

Drove a thousand miles just to

Find One who knows

But no one does, or it seems

Just the Way She goes, I won’t be mean

My entire life a loser, I can glean.

Day after day, new audiobook

Stories of how I can succeed

Make everyone proud, plant gold seeds.

Instead here I am, crying alone

No signal, no one to talk on the phone

Even now I’m reminded

“I’ve always loved you,

And I just want to come home”

I just want to come home

These words I can’t share

Too much shade from those who once cared

I’m so sorry for what I’ve done,

I made mistakes, wonder if she (you) were the one

I once thought this split would be fun

5 months now, coming undone

Should I be mature and end it now?

So many apologies made, but I don’t do enough

Always still I say too much.

Daisies bloom here, she keeps me safe

Watching Jojo’s until she’s tired, it’s late.

Will I die alone?

Seems likely, Fate.

Empedocles said the cosmos is just Love and Strife (Hate?)

Like Dr. Dog said, “how long must I wait?”

An Eternity, crying at Underworld’s gates.

Mountain to Mountains

Heard an Ancient say

Not too long, the other day

All that can be seen, all that can be known

Merely Spirit of the Times

The Depths not shown.

And yet, alluded by nostalgia

Aphrodite’s charm,

Went to see a former lover

(Of half a decade)

What’s the harm?

We spoke of much, enjoyed each other’s peace

And yet still, depths of this heart unreached.

There is always a fan near me

Branded “comfort zone”- irony?

She was named after a mountain

A symbol of the divine

We had each attained the stage of fountain(head)

But she was no longer mine.

How bittersweet, my heart bled,

Someone will treat her better, occupy her bed.

The pain was immense, yet I was the one in the wrong

Always seduced by another song.

I feel cursed, not longing to be this way

Wanting to stay firm, not to sway.

Maybe God’s charm, God’s request

Not wanting me to stay.

And now, 8 days prior, in the 8th month

Will I die of cold or cough?

Will I ever find (or be) the One?

Am I even worth Love?

I forsake career ambition for God, for love

Can’t blame all my problems on Above.

I wonder too, how those winters will be

Will I lust for Aphrodite,

Or again meet that unnamed goddess

What will she say to me?

Will I ever be enough?

Will I ever be made Right?

Lifetimes’ apology for lust,

I suffered for months after that night.

If you’re reading this, I hope you’re well

Remember to trust and keep moving through

If your conditions resemble Hell.

The Fool/ Hero’s Journey

Yesterday for tradition

Saw fossils of my family, outside of

Former lover’s jurisdiction.

They laughed as they called me a fool,

And like the fool who makes the journey to God,

I bore it. I did not speak up save for matters of race.

How could I describe the tasteless taste?

Not the type to shove awakening in your face.

Heard an Ancient say “if it’s not laughed at, it’s not the Dao”

The whole world laughs, even myself

Laughs at me now.

But impossible to deny

The soul, wings of butterfly.

So beyond all of this, all I do is cry,

Weeping for the bittersweet light

Shining on the dark of this.

Just want to be made right,

Worthy of that goddess’ kiss.

They told me the air is thinner

Told I won’t enjoy winter

Keep going all the way through

Don’t want to die a sinner.

Just want to be worthy of You.

But in the event I do

Just give all I have back

Sorry I’ve been so rude

I was just reinforcing lack

It takes

I promise

I promise you

If you start this trip

Don’t ever fucking stop

God will steal, tear, rip

No way will you ever come out on top!

In the darkest nights, there

How stupid I was

Confusing God for ephemeral Hell

I pray for all those I meet

I can’t tell you who and how I really am

I am every meal you eat

I am every face you greet

I am the aether from the stars below the street

I am that which asks not to eat meat

It is not me, it is not this man

This failure who knows not how to plan

Who has been broken, cast out, disheveled

This (can you even call it a) man, not on your level

The breath upon the waters

Stolen from your lungs

Sometimes all this corpse needs

Just a fucking hug

Teacher told this soul not a joke

How many times I wish I’d choke

Just to die and have it be over

Just to be birthed again

I barely relate to other men

Maybe someday I’ll find true love, and then

Imparting Realization

How many quotes

Dead awakened folks

Longed to share this gift,

Blessed mystery?

Wherever I go,

Always within/next to me

Wish I’d known then

She never wanted me, just wanted men

Midwest dream soon end

Only my ex lover has the divine seed

Continue the work, old darling

Sorry I was drunk on my greed.

Heart of my heart longs

For a love deserving of these songs

These stories and tears

Of much long and deep we suffer

To console your fears.

This body holds a cough

This body care not for getting off

This body may die soon

Mountain peak, high noon

Gone soon

I don’t care

Whatever it is you wanna do

Kill me off now, it’s okay

I’d practiced counting breaths for thousands of days

I’ll return to existence, here to play

It’s only for others I feel the need to pray

My death’s not always my concern

Fuck it, make a bong from my urn

Once you’ve tasted the fire of the divine

Only need I know is

“Just burn”


I left a great love a few months now

I’d had a few awakenings, don’t ask how

Then I went manic, lost it all, oh wow.

Recently decided to talk again

Two forlorn stars shining upon each other’s way

I’ve transgressed far too much

I can’t ask her to stay,

Nor do I know if I would had it been her.

Meanwhile the catalyst threw me in the bin as she should

As she should

Now I’m moving over a thousand miles away

(Funny, where her ex lived)

To be of the mountains, every day is Magia day

How cruel it is to miss the one I hurt the most

She wants things as they were

I just want true love

I’m crushed it wasn’t her.

Numbered Days

My breaths are labored

Punctuated by a cough.

I’d started tending to the neighbors

Everyone in Indiana just scoffs

Meditation is the practice of death

Funny thing I’d count my breath.

I was dishonest to the one I loved

In the name of greater from above.

Now, bereft of both,

My foolishness comes full circle.

Teacher said this work leaves you hated and alone

How many lifetimes must I atone?

Teacher said meaning can come from having kids

How funny now, feels like having adult SIDS.

Teacher said to take it serious

I was a touch too social once, how delirious.

Although afraid, I only fear not completing the work,

Truly being with the Beloved.

If anyone deserves to die, it’s me.

I’m a dang ol’ dummy.

Fear of Degeneracy

I know so,e travelers who

Want me to move thousands of miles away from you

I’m so afraid, you don’t even know

I feel apathetic, rotting in the womb

All I’ve never known has been scarce

(My lungs only barely seeing air)

I’m afraid to rot like those minds

Have you met me? Have the years been kind?

I hope Colorado treats my art better

I just want love regardless of weather

I want the Divine above all else

Thought I was awake, now I’m in Hell

Weird socializing when God is everyone, well

I’ve got too many stories I’d love to tell

I cry all the time, more or less swell.

I have no one to turn to, only half reflections

Ugh, I’m such a simple whore for half affection

I’m just wanting one with whom to sing The Strokes

Before long, in Underworld with all those dead folks

Different definitions of of now and then, woke.



I remember when you played this song

I remember waiting aeons long

Your face changes now and then

I still don’t know who you are

I still wonder how far..

I’ll be moving cross country soon

If i saw you, would we swoon?

Do I have to await another

Full moon?

When your appearance was in the hotel

I loved you so dearly, so deep

It was Hell

It’s still Hell.

Everyone who loves me, I hurt

My attempts to make it right make it worse

To be cast into existence at all

Just a fucking curse

I can feel you sometimes,


Like I’m sharing my life with you

Though we’ve not met

I would die for you,

If we’re willing to bet.

It’s when Eternity calls

I often weep, often pause

Why do I feel this way

Just because?

People are worried I’m mad

To love the Divine, sometimes


Oh Beloved my heart aches so

I would make sacrifices mortals don’t even know

Can’t even fathom, take a swing

I’ve already broken glass feet

(Joshu said ‘after a peasant but before, a king’)

You know, I thought we walked in the park

She was not you,

Just a light who left me in the dark.

“Forgive them Father, they know not what they do”

The Gods love to punish the wrongdoers

I’ve seen it happen to You.